Horns, Tattoos, Scars, and 69
by Shini-Kender
Summary: Twenty facts about Akon and Shuuhei's relationship. Written for the LJ community 20souls.


1. Hisagi first met Akon his first year of shinigami academy when his class went to visit the division offices of each division. Hisagi had gotten separated from the group and took a break leaning against a gurney. He felt something squishy beneath his hand before realizing he had collapsed a lung on the mid-way finished gigai.

2. Akon has never let him live this down.

3. After stabilizing his vice captain's condition, Akon got word of Hisagi's injuries. He came to make fun of him, but heard about Tousen's betrayal on the way there. When he came, he didn't say anything for a long while. Hisagi opened his mouth to speak. Akon told him he had a division to take care of now. Hisagi nodded and was out of bed in less than twelve hours.

4. Akon had been disappointed that Hiyosu didn't share much about the mysterious gigai of Kuchiki Rukia's. Hisagi gave him something more interesting to investigate.

5. Hisagi learned quickly that the skin around Akon's horns was probably the most sensitive part of the scientist's body. Akon batted Hisagi's fingers and tongue away and gave them something more useful to do on a different part of his body.

6. Akon was amused at the mess that resulted in Hisagi's first discovery of nail polish. He was even more amused... and aroused by the way the vice captain tried not to squirm when he used the nail polish remover on the dried splatters of nail polish on his stomach and arms.

7. Mayuri took him in to question Akon's association with the "traitor's" vice captain. Akon tossed a report on Mayuri's desk. Yellow eyes flickered over the first page and Mayuri smiled his eerie grin. Two days later that same report was flung on Akon's desk with a bitter, "I didn't want to hear about his performance in bed." Akon smirked at his captain's retreating back and murmured, "But the thing he does with his tongue is certainly an anomaly, sir."

8. When Renji and Hisagi discovered television, they spent nearly two days camped out in the twelfth division transmission rooms glued to Baywatch and Pay-Per-View porn, astounded that such a little box could carry so many naked women. Akon wasn't impressed and informed Hisagi just how much he'd have to pay per show. The next day, Hisagi, taking care not to sit, informed Renji that there would be "no more damned television."

9. The presence of Hisagi's first tattoo has always bothered Akon. Not because of the number, but because it's one of the few marks on Hisagi's body that he hadn't left behind.

10. The first time Hisagi made fun of the apron-like labcoat Akon wore, Akon tied him down with it. He hasn't repeated the mistake since, although he is tempted.

11. When Hisagi learned that Mayuri had made Nemu as opposed to getting her the usual way, he took a detour on his way back to his division and visited the twelfth division offices, promptly informing him that Akon didn't want a "damn baby." Akon just stared.

12. After the first time they tried anal sex, Hisagi broke his perfect attendance record and stayed home 'sick'.

13. They tried it again a few weeks later at Hisagi's suggestion. Akon spent the next day leaning against the wall during division meetings and mentally swearing Hisagi was NEVER being on top again.

14. Akon was fairly surprised when Hisagi was nonplused about the fact that Akon had made gigais of many of the female lieutenants and personally measured them all. This lasted until Hisagi mentioned that he wouldn't mind being left alone with Matsumoto's and some Soul Candy.

15. When Kanisawa and the others died, Akon wasn't the first, the second, or even the tenth person Hisagi went to see. He went to see the families of each of the victims of the attack to apologize for his failure. Akon, curious as to why he hadn't seen Hisagi for so long, found him much later.

16. When Akon mentioned he could fix the scar marks the hollow had left, Hisagi shook his head. He wanted to keep it as his apology to those he had failed that day. Akon ran a hand through his hair and sighed, muttering that if he went by the same code, Hisagi wouldn't have much left to fuck.

17. Akon doesn't go drinking with Hisagi and the other vice captains on their frequent outings to the local bars. He tries to keep his set of friends and Hisagi's separate. However, he doesn't at all mind the midnight visits from a tipsy and adventurous Shuuhei.

18. Akon takes great delight in telling the ninth division vice captain exactly what he did the night before and just what he'll need to do to keep the rumor of it from spreading.

19. Akon started calling him Shuu a couple months into their relationship. Hisagi called him Kon in retaliation until Akon gave him a sharp grope. There was just something about that nickname that sounded annoying.

20. A little after their fight, Yumichika went to Hisagi with an offer to spar. Akon got word of this and promptly told him that if he cheated on him with some featherhead, Akon would gladly remove a couple feet of intestine. 


End file.
